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dating
Jul 6, 2010 20:56:54 GMT -8
Post by Tsuki on Jul 6, 2010 20:56:54 GMT -8
x-x ok so I kept writing and deleting this because I'm shy and embarrassed. Ok so I'm a full time medical assistant student and a part time worker. my day is usually busy from 5am to 5pm and the rest of the day is done doing homework and stuff.My group of friends is also pretty much the same circle so I don't get to meet new people. I tried joining a local anime club and it only clashed with my schedule hence I was never able to go. - -;; my point being I don't really get to date, it also doesn't help that I have overly protective traditional parents. TT_TT my question is how do I meet a guy and exactly how do I go about dating? I've never really gone through the dating process, and I don't think I'll find a guy that'll agree to my parents traditional way of thinking. TT_TT should I just wait it out for a few more years?
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dating
Jul 7, 2010 16:52:29 GMT -8
Post by binksthecat on Jul 7, 2010 16:52:29 GMT -8
I don't know how much help my opinion on this will be, but there are still plenty of guys out there who still believe in the traditional ways of living. I am one of those select few who believe in tradition and parental respect. If your schedule is that busy, forums like this and chat sites might help you but can be trouble some and iffy at times. You can also meet new people anywhere you go, such as the mall/movies/concerts/rodeos/restaurants. As for how to go about dating, in todays society you can call anything a date so as long as your having fun together and you like the company then dont think to much into it. I hope this help some. >_<
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dating
Jul 7, 2010 17:05:04 GMT -8
Post by bakeuntilash on Jul 7, 2010 17:05:04 GMT -8
Whoa, this is a tricky one. In order to prevent myself from writing a novel about endless possibilities to your struggles I will present solutions to your questions. Your day starts at 5am and end at 5pm. You have no time to find a guy or look for one. Your life is revolving around scheduling. So, as silly as it sounds, schedule in some time to go look. If you find a guy you are interested in, schedule a time to meet with him. Please, please! Don’t tell him he is part of a schedule because he will be offended. Randomize your encounters too. if you have to study at 6pm, one week schedule your time together before studying and the next week, after studying. This will make it seem like you are sneaking him into you day. He will feel special. You have the same group of friends. Bah! Who needs friends? They watch your tv, use your internet, eat your food and clog your toilet! Your better off without them!! but, if you cant seem to get rid of them well…. Your friends should be supportive. Your friends will be your friends even if you take a day away from them. this might give you something new to talk about as well. Meeting new people is almost impossible if you have close friends. You feel obligated to see them and if you fine someone new there will be inevitable feelings and accusations of betrayal. Also, as a human, and a creature of habit, you will be less likely to gamble with a potential new friend when you have a guaranteed good time waiting for you with your already established friends. If your new friend doesn’t get along with your old friends that is already a disaster. So, what is my solution? Cut your time between the two of them. Your parents will be the hardest thing to overcome. I take it you want to do what they want you to do and do the things that they feel are the best. You are on your own there. If they will not accept anyone unless they think its right you are in for a lifetime of grief. If they are flexible and are eventually excepting of your man there is hope. And you are fortunate to have parents who are accepting. If they are traditional in the sense of “no sex before marriage” then that is more up to you and your moral compass. They cant stop you from that. if by traditional you mean ‘your man cant be of a different race, class, social status or below a certain pay bracket’ they hold more of the cards. All they will have to do is wait for things to fall apart (hopefully your relationship will be everlasting and full of joy!) and then step out of the shadows and yell “SEE!! Look what happens when you don’t listen to us” and if it does work out, all they have to do is keep their mouth shut and take credit for being good and excepting parents. The point is, stick with your guns and if things don’t work out hold your head up and tray again. don't let your parents make you feel bad. Learn from your mistakes. Oh, last thing with parents. They love you. Well, they are suppose to at least. If they put their needs before yours there is something wrong. You should not sacrifice your life (not literally!) to bend to their demands. Help lift their burden not carry it. The dating process is like probation period at a job. You try things out and see if you like it. so, like a job probation, you go on dates for 90 days (sometime it only take one day to see if the dude is a jerk) and see how things work out then make a decision. If you like him go on more dates. several dates will lead to exclusive dating. you will never see the transition from 'going on dates' to 'dating'. If there are still things to work out after 90 days, do another 30 days. If you don’t like things you are not obligated to continue going on dates, dump his ass and call me…..uh I mean, look somewhere else. Never, EVER! Date someone you don’t want to because it would make the other person happy. Should you wait a few years for what? Till your out of the house? That will let you date freely without your parents eyes on you. You can make mistakes without them ever knowing. I say date now so when you are out of the house you will be better prepared for when you find yourself face to face with the man of your dreams. Going back up a little, if you are dating someone and you want to break up and the guy says “if you don’t date me I’ll…” if he threatens to do anything RUN! Run hard and run fast!!! If he says he will harm you, call the police. If he says he will harm himself, call the police! Good lord please!!! Don’t stick around! Psst...Honestly, between you and me….and...you know... everyone else who breezes past this post…. anyway, if he does harm himself, good, we are all better off without people like that. Don’t feel bad I am behind you 100%. (again, this is why i am not heading any panels!) Attachments:
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dating
Jul 7, 2010 17:50:44 GMT -8
Post by Tsuki on Jul 7, 2010 17:50:44 GMT -8
;____; wow thanks you guys for reading this to begin with, and for the advice. I really do want to meet new people but I'm also unbelievably shy, I can work up the courage to go up to someone and talk but once I do stop them I have no clue what to say anymore. I have the luck that the only people I've met are gay or married. I agree with what you have to say about friends, bakeuntilash the few I have aren't very helpful to me in this case. x-x and I fail at flirting. XD all in all thanks a lot for the advice guys, it's nice to just have someone listen to my whining.
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Jul 7, 2010 19:46:06 GMT -8
Post by bakeuntilash on Jul 7, 2010 19:46:06 GMT -8
TsukiYou bring up an interesting thought when you say you are shy. How can a guy approach you, the shy one, and know that you are interested in talking to us? We end up talking to you and at some point we get the feeling that you are smiling and nodding just to be polite. How can we make you feel more comfortable? what are some signs that you appreciate the attention but you are quiet because you cant think of anything at the moment.
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Jul 7, 2010 21:58:05 GMT -8
Post by binksthecat on Jul 7, 2010 21:58:05 GMT -8
Im quite shy at times, but Sometimes for me if I get intimidated by a girl I will ask her to play pool. So there will be a common ground to talk about and then we can expand on another topic
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dating
Jul 8, 2010 8:42:38 GMT -8
Post by Tsuki on Jul 8, 2010 8:42:38 GMT -8
bakeuntilash well x////x to be honest I've never really been in that position, all I know is girls love to be complementented. In my case I love to hear other people talk and but I do get distracted easily so at times I will start nodding because I totally didn't hear what the person was saying and I'm waiting to catch up to the conversation. (does that make sense? @_@) in the end, I would say giving out your email or number is the best way to know for sure if they're interested in you. I know for a fact I would be too shy to ask anyone for some form of contact and would be regretting it later for the fact that I wished I could talk to that person again. x-x I'm sorry if I don't make sense. binksthecat x-x so I'm always online because I have to check emails and stuff and in case the school has to contact me, I have a smart phone so I thought online dating might work out Q___Q but it just scares me whaaaa I think I'll stick to just chatting like this.
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Jul 8, 2010 13:04:21 GMT -8
Post by binksthecat on Jul 8, 2010 13:04:21 GMT -8
I agree online dating is a bit scary. Everyone I work with still rides me about hooking up with girls online. But I find I can say anything online or texting easier then if I was face to face.
Which in turn helps me to know someone for a month before I decide I can trust them enough to arrange a meeting. I have made 4 real good friends who I meet in music chat rooms, and dating sites. A forum site like this is great for you. Cause u have already meet some of the individuals and know that anyone else that uses these pages are gonna have a lot in common so a conversation is easy to start. And even if u can't find someone to flirt with on here, you bound to make new friends close to you who can go out together and help with encourageing to go up and talk with a Guy.
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Jul 9, 2010 8:42:11 GMT -8
Post by Tsuki on Jul 9, 2010 8:42:11 GMT -8
XD yeah I like the people on this forum, everyone is too nice and I feel much more comfortable here, though even though it's through a screen I still have to get the nerve to type stuff up. x-x
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dating
Jul 9, 2010 9:34:35 GMT -8
Post by binksthecat on Jul 9, 2010 9:34:35 GMT -8
you've got lots of nerve. your the one who started this topic, and a great one at that.
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dating
Jul 9, 2010 10:36:53 GMT -8
Post by Adam on Jul 9, 2010 10:36:53 GMT -8
You should always feel safe posting here, I will not tolerate trolls. The internet is full of people who get off on being mean for no reason other than that they enjoy being mean, and that makes me crazy. But this is Our forum, so we make the rules, and anyone who is pissing me off will get only one warning. Second offence = ban. Simple as that. Just as I like to keep the Panel room safe for all discussion, I like to keep my forum safe too.
-Adam
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Jul 13, 2010 12:39:36 GMT -8
Post by azsinclair on Jul 13, 2010 12:39:36 GMT -8
thanks to adam, we're all a little safer from jerks ^_^
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Jul 13, 2010 15:52:06 GMT -8
Post by bakeuntilash on Jul 13, 2010 15:52:06 GMT -8
it is nice to see active members from staff patrol the site and actually interact with their members.
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dating
Jul 13, 2010 16:56:11 GMT -8
Post by Adam on Jul 13, 2010 16:56:11 GMT -8
Being connected with our community is something that we feel very strongly about! It's so frustrating to me when a group is doing something cool, but the information only goes one way. Not so with us! We are easy to reach! and since most if not all of you have met us in person, there is that personal connection as well! It's pretty awesome.
~Adam
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dating
Jul 13, 2010 21:25:34 GMT -8
Post by Tsuki on Jul 13, 2010 21:25:34 GMT -8
*_* you guys are so awesome~
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